On today's News Poem Marty swills warm gin with a brokenhearted Jessica Simpson, he pokes his stick in a barrel of crude oil, and finally the primary voting continues... and continues... and continues...

Today Marty stumbles through (dang, it was a Monday!) three verses... the first discusses Britney Spears' chuck in the trunk, the second verse takes a quick look at the American economy, and the third swings a 9 Iron directly at that dope in the White House.

In today's episode Marty throws baseballs at Barry Bonds' head... he's psyched about the NJ budget keepin' our parks open.. and he's got something to say about Hillary, Barak, and John Mcain.

Here's a News Poem from May 14th. Marty's got mother nature in his sights: at least this past weekend's storm... then he fires away at the NJ budget... and finally it's time to swing at the chaos on the set of the new James Bond flick...

Marty's in great form today! Check him out as he trashes Bush's plan to save the housing slump, why the FBI should keep off Tommy Chong's back, and Bush's daughter's wedding night plans. (Handled with care by Carl after Marty delivers his audio equivilent of a Dirty Sanchez.)

Here's the News Poem from May 8th. Marty's pen is movin' all over Hillary Clinton and her dwindling chances, the Olympic torch made it up a really big mountain, and good 'old Amy Winehouse has a drug problem, have you heard?

Marty's either voting for Democrats or voting for what he's drinkin', he's got a few lines about that pregnant cop, and wraps up today's News Poem with that "who to save list" that the US Government created for hospitals for use during our next big catastrophe.

Here's the News Poem from May 6th. Marty sling mud at The Gay Governor and his wife (?), Voting in backwater backwards America, and what the Prez thinks about student loans.

Here's the News Poem from May 1st... Carl Craft loves the third stanza. You can tell... just listen...

Marty takes a swing at whatever's causing this shitty recession, points out facts about the most recent celebrity breakup, and Toyota overtakes American-made cars... uh oh.